Petty Things That Ruin A Marriage

I find this article entertaining, true in some way and certainly has taught me something...
Taken from http://www.ehomemakers.net. Credit goes to Jagjeet Singh.


I recall a wedding dinner I attended a decade and a half ago. It was a solemn church wedding and at the reception, the guest-of-honour, a distinguished-looking senior citizen, gave a brilliant speech. The following concluding words of advice he gave the starry-eyed couple still linger in my mind, “Do not live in the past. Live in the present and look forward to the future. Look upon the past courting days as a foundation of your love and life and a springboard for your future years and, I daresay, your marriage will be sound. Do not find reasons to pick on each other. Let your love grow.”

To the young newly-weds, it may have seemed that some parts of his speech was uncalled for as it was apparent they were so much in love and nothing would come between them. Picking faults? But there were none! At that stage, they loved each other so much and everything was perfect about both of them. They were a perfect couple.

The home is empty when one partner is away performing his or her duties outside the home. Yes, you long for your spouse’s presence. Everything is blissful as the journey of discovery begins.

But, ask most couples who have had many years of marital life and they will caution you that, if you are not careful, slowly the romance in a marriage is overshadowed by petty little things about the partner that begin to irritate you. Slowly and surely, there is a tendency to get too familiar and take things for granted and consider these petty things seriously. Eventually, the initial sparks in the marriage die out and you begin to find faults. Things that did not matter to you before slowly begin to matter. Things that never annoyed you about your partner before now annoy you. In short, petty things irritate you and you make mountains out of mole-hills.

I know a husband who after one score years of married life finally confessed to us at a little private party at his home how irritated he was with his wife’s bad habit of leaving the bathroom wet and in a poor state! We often hear of wives complaining endlessly about how messy and wet the bathroom is after the man of the house has used it, but to my horror, he spoke, “I just cannot stand this habit of hers. The bathroom is never dry; the sink is wet and likewise the mirror. I never like a wet bathroom.”

And, his wife seated in our midst instantly protested vehemently, “You know – this is the extreme. None of you could live with my husband. You know, he goes round using a broom and a dustbin several times during the day and night, picking up all my hair that has fallen off from my head. He literally bends down and with a wet tissue collects all the hair that has dropped off after a shower. He just cannot stand a strand of hair on the floor – be it the bathroom or the kitchen, bedroom or any part of the house. You tell me, how incredible this is but it is true. It is a torture, an agony, living with him. But we have lived happily because we have both tried to change – I have become much neater – now I go round with a dustpan and a broom collecting my fallen hair several times during the day; and he closes both eyes. That is to say, he has grown to be less fussy about such extreme cleanliness.”

The couple is still happily married and the man is still unable to tolerate his wife’s poor bathroom habits! “But my life will be much happier ... if my wife changes. I will be more romantic then for I will look less edgy!” the husband uttered softly, as his wife smiled. “I can’t really change. You should have noticed this at the very beginning!” she remarks teasingly.

However, the marriage endures. The couple has learnt the magical art of compromise in their marriage. Aware of each other’s small faults, they have learnt to accept them and look beyond them. Instead they now savour the unique and enduring qualities that attracted them to each other in the first place. Isn’t that what marriage is partly about?