Dear diary,
my baby Qistina is now 2 month-1-week. how fast time flies..i still remembered her as this small bundle whom i hold in my arms in the hospital. now, she's becoming chubbier and rounder and plump(er) than before. Her cheeks are reddish when she's hungry for milk..her eyes lit up when she sees me picking her up at the babysitter's house..
oh yes, now i have to send her to a babysitter after i started to work at this new place.oh, didn't i tell you how i got this new job at this megan avenue II? well, it's a pretty long story,but to cut it short i started working in this new place after i finished my confinement...
kinda hurry to accept this job offer as i know that my household income is still small but our family needs are getting bigger..
back to my baby, I feel bad have to send her to babysitter house.the first day she was there, i heard her cry.but i have no choice, i gotta be strong and send her there. my heart is pulling me to get her back and stay home with her ..i miss her terribly on the first day i separated from her.now, i'm getting used to it and i believe she's also getting used to stay at the makcik's house.
Qistina have this routine of getting colic every night. kinda make me worry but the doctors keep telling me that it's normal .but the very fact she's suffering of it every night is tugging me that there must be something that i could do to help her. I read in babycenter.com that this condition will pass after she's getting into her 3 months..oh, i hope so..i hope everything would be normal and this thing will pass..
yesterday, she had a very bad colic..non-stop crying for more than 2-3 hours..i'm worried, diary..i helped her in everything i can but still she wouldn't stop crying.kinda frustrating. i feel like i'm not cut out to be good mother,like i'm not well-preapred to be a helping mom to her child,like how i'm imagining how i'm supposed to be..i'm so dissapointed in myself and i guess my hubby is also dissapointed in me for not being able to control my emotion and myself last night. he was at his office to do some work and i really hate to have call him back, but i have to..i really have no choice...in the end Qistina slept at around 3am.that is a bit weird for her to sleep that late..there must be something really wrong or she wouldn't sleep that late.her stomach bloated .i hope that she will be okay today and will see if she's having the same thing today...
oh God, please dun make my fear becomes something bad to her.
Thursday, November 30, 2006
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