What Mom is Doing...

Dear diary,
Today i would like to jot down my day for my baby to read.
I was so busy updating my business's website at CountrysideToYou
This website is long overdue before i was admitted to hospital so i guess it's about time i finish this half done thing. Though lazy but i forced myself to update eveything.
so, by now, if you must know i have finished 1 module which is the catalogue. but the rest of it..err..tomorrow,yep sure tomorrow i will definitely finish...

A Mom's blog

Dear diary,
my hubby suggested yesterday that i start to write in a blog about how i feel being pregnant.Perhaps it's for our future baby to read it when he/she has grown up. I figured it out that it is a splendid idea to tell about my feelings, excitement, fear,new things that i learned bla..blaa..
Well, I'm into 15 weeks of pregnancy. My friend suggested that i subscribe to the babycenter website to get a clearer view of what's happening inside my tummy. So here's what the website has to say about my biological changes. Kinda exciting to know all these stuff..


Dear mommy to be,
How your baby's growing: At around 4 inches long, crown to rump, your baby now weighs about 2 1/2 ounces. He's busy inhaling and exhaling amniotic fluid, which will help develop the air sacs in his lungs. His legs are growing longer than his arms now, and he can move all his joints and limbs. That means his hands are more functional, too. Sweat glands are appearing, and although his eyelids are fused shut, he can sense light. If you shine a flashlight at your tummy, he's likely to move away from the beam. There's not much for your baby to taste at this point, but his taste buds are beginning to form. And if you have an ultrasound, you may be able to find out whether your baby's a boy or girl! (Don't be disappointed if it remains a mystery, though. Nailing down the gender depends somewhat on how clear the picture is and the position of your baby during the ultrasound; he may be curled or turned in such a way as to keep you in suspense.)

I'm having a jolly good time...at least for now..hehe..

can i backdated my entry?

Dear diary,
i have been neglecting you quite long while i was in custody of mr boredom (the time when i was jobless), mr confused (the time when i had some identity crisis..hahaha) and mr wanna-do-it-all(the time when i was so excited of opening my own shop).
so, the time has come now when i can sit back and relax.pregnancy time requires me to relax and stretch a lot.well, back to my intention in da first place,i want to put my sweetest memories of my wedding day in this blog. It was last year event so that was the reason why i asked 'can i backdated my entry?' so here are da details of d-day...

Date : 20th & 21st August 2006
Venue : Taman Permata, Kuala Lumpur

Petty Things That Ruin A Marriage

I find this article entertaining, true in some way and certainly has taught me something...
Taken from http://www.ehomemakers.net. Credit goes to Jagjeet Singh.


I recall a wedding dinner I attended a decade and a half ago. It was a solemn church wedding and at the reception, the guest-of-honour, a distinguished-looking senior citizen, gave a brilliant speech. The following concluding words of advice he gave the starry-eyed couple still linger in my mind, “Do not live in the past. Live in the present and look forward to the future. Look upon the past courting days as a foundation of your love and life and a springboard for your future years and, I daresay, your marriage will be sound. Do not find reasons to pick on each other. Let your love grow.”

To the young newly-weds, it may have seemed that some parts of his speech was uncalled for as it was apparent they were so much in love and nothing would come between them. Picking faults? But there were none! At that stage, they loved each other so much and everything was perfect about both of them. They were a perfect couple.

The home is empty when one partner is away performing his or her duties outside the home. Yes, you long for your spouse’s presence. Everything is blissful as the journey of discovery begins.

But, ask most couples who have had many years of marital life and they will caution you that, if you are not careful, slowly the romance in a marriage is overshadowed by petty little things about the partner that begin to irritate you. Slowly and surely, there is a tendency to get too familiar and take things for granted and consider these petty things seriously. Eventually, the initial sparks in the marriage die out and you begin to find faults. Things that did not matter to you before slowly begin to matter. Things that never annoyed you about your partner before now annoy you. In short, petty things irritate you and you make mountains out of mole-hills.

I know a husband who after one score years of married life finally confessed to us at a little private party at his home how irritated he was with his wife’s bad habit of leaving the bathroom wet and in a poor state! We often hear of wives complaining endlessly about how messy and wet the bathroom is after the man of the house has used it, but to my horror, he spoke, “I just cannot stand this habit of hers. The bathroom is never dry; the sink is wet and likewise the mirror. I never like a wet bathroom.”

And, his wife seated in our midst instantly protested vehemently, “You know – this is the extreme. None of you could live with my husband. You know, he goes round using a broom and a dustbin several times during the day and night, picking up all my hair that has fallen off from my head. He literally bends down and with a wet tissue collects all the hair that has dropped off after a shower. He just cannot stand a strand of hair on the floor – be it the bathroom or the kitchen, bedroom or any part of the house. You tell me, how incredible this is but it is true. It is a torture, an agony, living with him. But we have lived happily because we have both tried to change – I have become much neater – now I go round with a dustpan and a broom collecting my fallen hair several times during the day; and he closes both eyes. That is to say, he has grown to be less fussy about such extreme cleanliness.”

The couple is still happily married and the man is still unable to tolerate his wife’s poor bathroom habits! “But my life will be much happier ... if my wife changes. I will be more romantic then for I will look less edgy!” the husband uttered softly, as his wife smiled. “I can’t really change. You should have noticed this at the very beginning!” she remarks teasingly.

However, the marriage endures. The couple has learnt the magical art of compromise in their marriage. Aware of each other’s small faults, they have learnt to accept them and look beyond them. Instead they now savour the unique and enduring qualities that attracted them to each other in the first place. Isn’t that what marriage is partly about?

recap of my ordeal

Dear diary,
just to recap a very important thing in my life lately..
i had an operation to remove my ovarian cyst.the cyst was quite big around 1.2 kg.
i had a shock and couldnt believe my ears when the doctor suggested for me to have the operation asap.the checkup was supposed to be a checkup on my pregnancy but other thing came up.
saddened by the news and afraid of the outcome,thankfully my dad,family and especially my hubby gave me support to go through the ordeal.Alhamduliilah, everything went well..
the operation was on 21/2/2006 and doctor gave me medical leave for 1 month...
thanks doc for the grrrreat job...

frustration...jobless...feel unwanted and useless

Dear diary,
i'm not going to my shop today.this morning i called my x-colleague asking his favor to offer me a job. I'm jobless...again...can u believe that? I was hoping that i could get a good recommendation from him since he's the sales director there.maybe i could learn a thing or two about telecommunication.A totally new industry for me although related to IT.

That is why i'm right in front of my pc to do some research about this company and it's new technology. Something about NGN (New Generation NEtworks)...what the hell is that? I'm not too sure either, that's why i'm reading on the white paper and network infrastructure....but damn it, so hard to get any info..i guess it's becoz the tech is still new and not much discoveries been made, especially in Malaysia.

cross fingers..hope everything turn out so well, that he offered me job right away.isnt that wonderful if it truly happened?i guess it's only in my mind or fantasy world...guess i have to work harder and do more research so i dont err...errr while talking to him later.

stomach ache

Dear diary,
Happy New Year!!
I'm supposed to be in my shop right now...but i have a bad stomachache, and i don't have the mood to go today...

light at the end of the tunnel

Dear diary,
a lot have changed since i last wrote here. among the most important things are :- i got married, i resigned from my sucking new job, i have opened my own business...
first and foremost, i got married to a great and wonderful guy. He's the most kind-hearted and selfless guy i have ever known. how i come to this decision? well, i guess it's more of 'jodoh' from God that he is my Mr.Right. To make it short, i fall in love with him eventually when everything in this world brings me back to him...no matter how hard i tried to deny my feelings towards him or how far i tried to distance myself from him, it always didn't work...something will always came up that made me needed him more than ever before.

now, about the sucking new job i was telling u...well, it sucks..i can't stand the hypocrite and ill-thinking of the people there.they were willing to go all the way to sack their employees and i'm not just saying that, as my immediate supervisor cum the director also resigned from the company. i think it's because he cannot stand the management there too. so, iwasn't the only one who suffered there.anyway, it's all in the past and i choose not to remember those bad things they did. i choose to put all those bad memories behind. i choose to forgive and forget. i choose to put my health and happiness above the rest.

people say and believe ,'there's always light at the end of the tunnel'...and i believe that too. iafter much thought and research , i find that opening a flower shop or become a florist really touches some instinct deep inside me that i can explore this field and widen the conventional approach. the new shop is about 1.5 km from the apartment i'm staying now with my husband. Convenient and practical. I'm optimist that this venture will work,maybe not now but soon it's going to flourish..just need some patience and determination to survive the obstacles in this early stage.

ok, i guess that's a wrap for tonite..i will write again...soon.

Communication problem

Dear diary,
this week has been one of the worst week in my entire life. i screwed up my relationship with my sis and my new boss called me up.Let me start with what happened with my sis. She called me up to ask on my hantaran list.but again, me being the b*****d ended up yelling back at her telling that i have wrote everything down.i regret it...really i am..i just dunno what got into me that i blew up. so, i called her back and apologize.but i know the damage is done. she is hurt and all she wanted to do was helping me with my wedding.
Then with my boss,I was called up to meet him in meeting room and was warned for a lot of reasons.i was late for a meeting, i didn't communicate well with my colleague,i didn't reply mails bla..bla...
But it all comes back to one main problem :Communication.
I do have communication problem.with every one...shit...how i hate myself right now..

hey..i have somebody reading my blog...at last...

dear diary,
shhh...somebody might be reading this after i post this entry...but hey..by all means..if somebody stumbled on this blog, do drop a line or two.it motivates me to write and rambles more in here. tq in advance..
oh yeah..today, my friend emailed me this link http://www.colorgenics.com/sps/.
Cool stuff..i would say it's 98% accurate.Here is my result for today (almost to what i feel this morning when i woke up )

"Enough is enough - and you feel that you've had enough for a while. You don't need any more battles. You just would like to be able to shout 'stop' and experience a little peace and calm - even if it be only for a little while. This doesn't mean that you need to cut yourself off from the rest of the world - it just means that you are seeking some respite, some physical or emotional relaxation that could release some of the tension and possibly reduce the internal conflict.
At this time you 'need to be needed' and again you 'need to need'. You have had this feeling for some time now and you are looking for someone who could share a close bond in an atmosphere of shared intimacy. You have the belief that with the right person you could conquer the world.
At times one is burdened with more than one's fair share of problems and this would appear to be your situation at present. But you are adamant - you know what you wish to achieve - and by giving a little and taking a little you may well find that the realization of your dreams could become a reality.
You are feeling trapped by the situation as it stands at this time and what is more, you feel powerless to remedy it. You are stressful, angry and disgruntled. You feel that everything that you try to do to change the situation is thwarted and your hopes and aspirations all seem to be receding into the ever distant future. You have reached the state where you now doubt whether your dreams will ever be achieved and this is not only causing mental stress but heartache. You need to get away from it all - you need to have time to think, to recuperate, to be able to make your own decisions.
You need to be needed and would like a situation where you will no longer be subjected to pressures and demands from those about you. There is no harm in 'dreaming' but it is you - and only you - that can be able to realize those dreams and to turn them into reality."

i'm being watched..

Dear diary,
being a new apprentice can be tiresome, cumbersome and other some..some stuff.
all actions are being scrutinized and criticized. recently, this busybody colleague of mine approached me and tried telling me "for my best interest" that i should stop chatting on YM.
yeah right...here i am working my ass to finish all the tenders and assignments given, and having a liiiittle bit of chat break with my ol' friends... and she complained. that big mouth of hers...erghhh..i hate that big mouth..
as for her, i noticed since the "big jerk" boss quit his job about a week ago, she becomes sooo relaxed and i dun see her do a single thing..i doubt she's doing any job especially her place is hidden from people walking.trying to act busy but nothing..trying to be an angel in the office la tu..give advice here, critic there, this is good, this is bad..
Moral of the story today:- before u comment on others, pls... take a good look at yourself first!

cutie

fickle minded

Dear diary,
i just dun understand.this officemate of mine she got a fickle mind. she can be so nice and friendly at one time,
but another time she can be errghhhh...so snobbish..!!!
say, when she started the conversation she is so friendly and of course i have to
reply back in kindness and good naturedly..
but when i want to start having a small talk by the pantry for example, she just
brush me off without even a smile or look at my face.
does she has sick mind???? get real...c'mon!! i dun come here to suck up at you, you b**ch!!
i'm just here to have decent working environment where all of us can work in harmony together.
can't you just get that simple statement in your bloody empty mind?

HR..again n again...

Dear diary,
i wonder why izit i always have problems with HR people..it's not that i look for trouble with them.i even tried to avoid them..but still they are looking for my faults.
i tried to low down my head, bury myself in my work,learn all da new stuff as fast as possible...but they are alwiz snooping around me looking for every possible default that i'm making..goshh...why????????????????????????????????????????????

yesterday..

Dear diary,
last nite my new boss was a bit pissed off with me. one, i couldn't do the technical proposal. two, my mistake in the slides presentation.three, i said the wrong word when i supposed to say another. four, my battery is out when he asked me to do some more work and i left my battery in da office.
well,one thing for sure, i tried my very best in every task that he gave me.i refer to internet,i looked back in my past work..but hey, different organization do things in different way. things i do in da past doesn't meet his needs and vice versa.
i really hope he can be patient with me while i'm absorbing everything .kinda hard to do things this fast.but again n again, i'm comforting myself..this is da path that i choose. changing my job, go to a different and new place...i have to be strong!!! i have to face all the hurdles!! i can be a good consultant!!! i wan 2 learn!!!i am good..oh yeahh...

edms

dear diary,
it's lunch hour..i'm in my new office, just had my lunch with my boss.
there's not many peole in the office.just the four of us..quite boring but peaceful in a way.
concentrating in my work

a few more days left in this company...

Dear diary,
I have a few more days left here in this company before i'm joining the new company in Sunway.
I'm offered a new job,of course with better pay and better designation.Something like a consulting line..which i have been eyeing for quite some time.
The new place is secluded and away from where i am working now but the place has quite a good
place to dine, shop and stay.
Now that i would be away from my future husband who is now working in the same office now
as i am, i'm sure that i will miss him but it's good as at the end of the day i will meet
him at home to unwind, rahter than meet him at the busy and hectic day.Makes me miss him
more than the day before... :)

can't get enough

dear diary,
u know something..sometimes i just can't get enough of u.once i write 2 u, i want 2 write
again n again n again in the same day.

Dear diary,
Yesterday i hand in my resignation letter to HR. It's not that i can't take it anymore, it's just that ..i can't take it anymore..hehe..
Being in a position where every step u r being scrutinized and analyzed all the time makes u sick , isn't it? because if u look very hard for faults and wrong in a human being, u will sure to find ...but if u look on the good side that's the beauty of it. That ability is seldom found..
If i have the choice of staying here in this company i will stay but only if they increase my salary in accordance to my expanded job scope.i beleive i'm not asking much because i have helped a lot of project's training with no commission, of course and also a few years experience. i beleive that i deserve more than a fresh graduate's salary.
But, i also believe that my 'rezeki' is not here.I asked God to show me signs whether i should stay or move on...but with this outcome, i trust this the sign that i'm goin to follow.
I'm moving on..reporting duty with the new company end of June.
God, give me the strength to move on with my life...

betul ke tindakan aku ni?

dear diary,
aritu 'dia' ade cakap yg projek die kat brunei akan ambil masa more than 6 months. mungkin
tak dapat balik for good bila dia balik bulan Jun ni. mungkin terpaksa tangguh upacara
kahwin ni ke bulan Disember, ujung tahun ni. Mula-mula aku terasa gak..terasa seperti
dipermain-mainkan lak.terasa seperti one-sided feeling lak.terasa cam aku yg nak kahwin
sgt sedangkan die lebih utamakan projek die kat brunei. bila die tanya ape pendapat aku,
aku diam je.bila mlm tu die call,aku kata alang2 buat bln 12 lebih baik buat thn depan je.
iye lah,kalo dah tak boleh buat decision betul2 on what he wants now, how is he going to
make decision for our family later on....sambung nanti...ade keje sikit