Lowest point in my life..

Dear diary,
Few days ago, director of my company had to relay the bad news...he had to laid me and few other staff from the company due to the bad performance and bad financial situation.

Part of me is happy on this news which I'm not sure why too..i guess this has to do that i'm not happy anymore working there with the environment and the situation within the company.

Part of me is not happy because I have not been paid my salary for 3 months already,including my EPF, SOCSO, income tax & zakat.

Some of the problems that i faced and tried to help in anyway that i can within these few months:-

• -Blacklisted and status 'striking off' by SSM.
• -Financial audit 2015 is not done
• -Cannot renew MOF cert, cannot participate tender anymore
• -Compound by SSM
• -Blacklisted by sprm due to the director's case before..he has to report himself to sprm every 3 months, i think.
• -Locked up in sprm lock-up for quite sometime
• -No experience in participating tender before, especially when being called for shortlisted companies.

So, basically today i'm jobless.

Feel down..

Saya Akan Jadi Jutawan! Confirm!!

Tapi camne caranya? Tak tau lagi..Tapi cita-cita mesti ada..
Bila sebut cita-cita nak jadi jutawan..macam-macam hajat dan impian bermain di fikiran aku.
Nak bebas hutang/kewangan lah, nak kereta idamanlah, nak duduk kat rumah alamat gempak lah, nak handbag branded lah, banyak lagi lah..unlimited wants and needs...
Tapi nak mencapai hasrat terpendam tu banyak pengorbanan dan usaha yang aku mesti lakukan dari sekarang..Katakan aku berhasrat nak jadi jutawan dalam masa 7 tahun lagi..

Maka ;
RM 1,000,000.00 / 7 tahun=  ~RM 142,860.00 setahun aku kena dapatkan.
Jadi ,dalam sebulan ;
RM 142,860.00 / 12 bulan = ~RM 11,905.00 sebulan aku kena dapatkan.

Dengan anggapan active income bulanan aku ialah RM 5,500.00  ;
Maka, RM 11,905.00- RM 5,500.00= RM 6,405.00 aku kena tambah melalui passive income ku atau dengan cara-cara lain bagi setiap bulan.

This is my first step on my journey to become a self-made millionaire.

Makan Gaji Tapi Kaya Harta..woww!!

credit to encik izwan

6 Kriteria Mereka Yang Makan Gaji Tapi Kaya Harta
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Jika tetuan berniat nak jadi kaya dengan berbisnes, lalu memutuskan untuk berhenti kerja, maka ketahuilah, makan gaji pun boleh jadi kaya harta juga.
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Maka, apa yang membezakan orang yang makan gaji tetapi kaya harta dengan kita yang makan gaji tetapi cukup-cukup makan sahaja? (Ya, saya belum kaya harta lagi, dan saya masih makan gaji.)
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Kriteria 1: Menyimpan dengan konsisten
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Kita boleh lihat, orang yang kaya harta, tidak kira melalui jalan berniaga dan juga jalan makan gaji, konsisten dalam menyimpan.
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Cara mereka konsisten menyimpan juga mudah: Dapat sahaja duit untuk kegunaan isi rumah, terus disimpan 10% atau lebih daripada jumlah tersebut mengikut keselesaan mereka.
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Ada yang menerima gaji melalui bank, sudah ada sistem yang akan transfer wang gaji dalam dalam bank terus ke akaun Tabung Haji secara automatik. Maka, selebihnya boleh dihabiskan untuk belanja isi rumah. Mereka tidak risau lagi tidak menyimpan.
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Kriteria 2: Konsisten Berhubung dengan Pemiutang
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Ini pun sama juga. Mereka tidak takut dengan bank. Mereka tahu hak-hak mereka sebagai peminjam.
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Contohnya, ada ketika mereka tidak mampu membayar ansuran bulanan kereta. Apa yang mereka lakukan? BUKAN sorok kereta. BUKAN buat tidak tahu. Tetapi mereka telefon bank dan mohon tangguh. Kemudian mengikut segala prosedur.
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Mereka ada mindset yang "Semua perkara boleh dibawa berbincang". Lebih-lebih lagi dengan pihak yang berurusan secara rasmi dengan mereka seperti Bank, Tuan Rumah, Bos ditempat kerja dan lain-lain.
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Kriteria 3: Menjaga Hubungan Baik
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Kita boleh lihat, fokus utama mereka yang kaya harta jarang sekali berkisar tentang harta, tetapi hubungan baik dengan semua pihak yang sepatutnya, semua orang yang tidak berniat jahat kepada mereka.
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Antara pihak yang penting untuk dijaga hubungan baik adalah Allah (ya, itu paling penting ya... jaga solat <-- adik-beradik="" bapa="" br="" dan="" diri="" handai.="" ibu="" juga="" kemudian="" kepada="" nak="" niaga="" pesan="" sahabat="" saudara-mara="" sebagainya.="" sendiri="" steri="" suami="" supplier="" turun="" untuk="" vendor=""> .
Namun jika terbukti ada yang berniat jahat mereka akan:
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Kriteria 4: Tegas dalam Hubungan
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Ya, mereka akan bertegas dan 'point out' yang pihak tersebut berniat jahat. Mereka tidak cakap2 belakang dan juga tidak menuduh secara terbuka.
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Mereka tegas kerana hasrat utama mereka adalah untuk menjaga hubungan baik dengan semua orang. Bertegas dengan mereka yang cuba menganiaya kita adalah salah satu jalan mengukuhkan hubungan baik. Ini kerana mungkin sahaja pihak satu lagi tidak sedar mereka sedang menganiayai kita. Lalu mereka akan membetulkan kesalahan.
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Kriteria 5: Menunaikan Janji
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Ini adalah jalan paling mudah membina kredibiliti dan integriti. Mereka yang kaya harta adalah mereka yang berintegriti, tidak kira makan gaji atau berniaga.
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Pekerja yang berintegriti lebih mudah naik pangkat dan naik gaji. Peniaga yang berintegriti lebih disayangi pembeli dan pembekal.
Suami/isteri yang berintegriti lebih dipercayai dan lebih bebas berurusan.
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Apabila sudah berjanji, berusahalah untuk deliver.
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Maka kita perlu berhati-hati apabile berjanji. Kecil atau besar, ia tetap perlu ditunaikan. Dan ya, janji kepada anak isteri kita sama pentingnya dengan janji kepada pembeli dan pembekal kita, jika tidak lebih penting!
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Kriteria 6: Belajar dan Buat
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Mereka yang makan gaji tetapi kaya harta lebih banyak diberi peluang oleh ketua mereka. Mengapa? Kerana mereka sentiasa laparkan ilmu dan daahagakan kemahiran baru. Mereka belajar benda baru dan sedia mengaplikasi skill tersebut. Ketua yang bagus amat suka ahli tim seperti ini kerana memudahkan kerja mereka.
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Perkara ini juga penting apabila kita mula berniaga. Setiap perkara dalam berniaga pastinya benda baru kepada kita yang makan gaji. Maka kita perlu ada aptitud yang tinggi untuk terus belajar dan buat perkara yang kita belajar.
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Mana lagi penting, belajar atau buat?
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Dua-dua penting! Lepas belajar terus buat! Jangan belajar-belajar dan terus belajar tetapi tidak buat. Nanti tidak kemana.
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Paling kurang pun buat terus. Kerana jika tersalah, kita boleh betulkan. Pastikan ada cara untuk kita tahu kita tersalah buat. Mungkin sasaran khusus ataupun mentor yang boleh memberitahu kita kesalahan kita.
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Itulah 6 kriteria yang ada pada mereka yang makan gaji tetapi kaya harta. Semuanya berkisar tentang sikap dan interaksi kita dengan semua pihak. Semuanya bawah kawalan kita.
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Maka tiada sebab untuk kita yang makan gaji, tidak kaya harta.

I like this status...my inspiration.

credit to En Fazreen..

Bagaimana saya survive..
Ramai yang nak tahu ini memandangkan mereka tidak nampak dari mana duit saya datang. Dan berada dalam startup perlu ikat perut bukan?
Jangan risau saya sendiri pun tak nampak daripada mana duit saya datang, yang saya tahu saya ada road map dan saya stick pada kerja hakiki seorang usahawan.
Saya sudah mencari duit secara serius sejak umur 20 tahun jadi sudah tentu saya ada simpanan.
Jadi ini tip dan apa yang saya buat personally pernah dikongsikan semasa sesi minum kopi ABS 2 tahun lepas.
1. Duit bayar sewa rumah = usahakan satu projek/produk
2. Duit bulanan kereta = usahakan satu projek/produk
3. Duit bulanan motor = usahakan satu projek/produk
4. Duit makan = tidak pernah plan. Bagi saya "aku tak akan mati kalau tak makan".
Paling menyedihkan saya tidak mempunyai kereta dan saya menunggang scooter yang berusia 8 tahun. Dan beruntung banyak sebab dapat makwe cun (akhlak dan rupa) yang sanggup jadi Isteri bulan 5 ini walaupun diri ini selekeh.
Perbelanjaan terbesar saya ialah rumah (tempat saya menghabiskan masa, bekerja dan entertain anda) dan juga menyara serba sedikit keluarga di kampung.
Bertambah sedih, saya tidak merokok.
Oh ya dan berkenaan travel saya memegang formula ini, 2 tahun sekali akan keluar jauh dari Malaysia. Satu tahun cari duit, satu tahun keluar. Dan yang membayar perbelanjaan travel saya ialah dividen ASB lebih kurang 7k-8k setahun. Duit simpanan ASB saya anggap sebagai duit mati. Setiap bulan menyimpan tanpa ambil peduli.
Jangan lupa setiap hari derma (belanja kawan, beli tisu makcik buta tepi jalan dan apa saja yang mampu menambah pahala: topup sembahyang yang masih tidak sempurna).
You will be ok in this world.

sangat betul tentang teori naluri seorang isteri..

credit to Sinar Harian

BEBERAPA hari lepas, saya duduk berborak dengan mereka yang sudah melimpah ruah pengalamannya mengenai hal ehwal wanita. Walaupun sudah masuk umur 43 dan sudah hampir 20 tahun berumahtangga tetapi bercampur dengan mereka, saya berasa diri seperti anak muda mentah.

Rupanya masih banyak yang saya tidak tahu mengenai wanita. Betullah seperti apa yang dikata oleh seorang kawan, wanita adalah makhluk yang dijadikan ALLAH dengan seribu satu misteri. Dan meneroka misteri wanita adalah pengembaraan hidup yang sangat menarik. Namun pengembaraan ini tidak ada destinasi muktamadnya sebagaimana misterinya wanita yang tidak pernah ada jawapan tuntas bagi setiap persoalan membabitkan mereka.

Dalam perbualan itu, berkatalah seorang daripada bijak pandai ini bahawa lelaki jangan berasa diri mereka sudah cukup pandai untuk menyembunyikan rahsia daripada isteri, terutama suami yang daripada spesis patin buah iaitu mereka yang mengamalkan cara hidup liar, bebas seperti patin yang di luar sangkar.

"Orang perempuan ni kita tak tau, instinct depa kuat. Apa yang kita buat di luar rumah, depa boleh rasa. Tinggal lagi sama ada depa nak bising atau tidak saja," katanya.

Menyusul selepas, macam-macam pandangan dikemukakan. Ada yang mengatakan dalam pada suami yang jenis patin buah itu berasa mereka sudah cukup bijak menyembunyikan kegiatan kokurikulum daripada pengetahuan isteri, keharmonian rumah tangga sebaliknya berjaya dikekalkan hanya bersebab kesabaran isteri.

"Isteri ni... depa saja tak mau buat kecoh. Selagi mana dirasa apa yang dibuat suami di luar rumah tak menjejaskan depa, selagi itulah depa bertahan. Ada juga yang fikir, kalau depa bising, keadaan akan jadi lebih haru biru. Anak-anak macam mana?

"Bagi mak-mak ni, anak-anak lebih utama. Sebab itu depa diam. Walaupun makan hati, depa tak bising sebab depa tau, kalau depa bising, akibatnya mungkin lebih buruk untuk depa." Demikian salah satu pendapat yang dikemukakan.

Menariknya, untuk mengiyakan lagi tajuk itu, seorang daripada rakan saya itu buat pengakuan. Katanya, pernah suatu ketika bekerja di luar kawasan, dia terserempak dengan kekasih lamanya sewaktu universiti dahulu.

"Nak jadi cerita, ex-girlfriend aku tu tak kahwin lagi. Bila dah terjumpa, dan aku pun tengok dia masih lawa, semangat lama pun datang balik. Kami pergi makan dan berborak agak lama. Kiranya dalam hati aku memang ada niat nak sambung balik apa yang sudah terputus."

Namun dengan tidak semena-mena kata kawan saya itu, keasyikannya menganyam impian tiba-tiba tersentap apabila isterinya telefon.

"Sebelum tu, tak pernah sekalipun dia call waktu kerja. Biasanya bila kerja outstation, malam aku yang call dia untuk tanya khabar, tahu-tahu hari tu, entah macam mana dia teringat nak call aku pulak. Dan lagi yang paling tak sedap, dia tanya aku ok ke tak? Tiba-tiba saja. Bila aku tanya dia sebab apa tanya macam tu, dia kata, entah, tiba-tiba saja rasa tak sedap hati," katanya.

Sejak itu, kata si rakan, jangankan impian jangka panjang, impian jangka pendeknya pun terus terhenti di situ juga. Taubat nasuha terus dia. Kawan saya itu bukan spesies patin buah tetapi patin sangkar!

Saya teringat satu cerita yang lain. Ini berkaitan hipnosis. Hipnosis biasanya dikaitkan dengan keadaan seseorang yang kelihatan seperti tidur tetapi tidak tidur. Adapun apa yang berlaku kepada seorang kawan seperti yang dia sendiri akui, bagi saya adalah paling 'membahayakan'.

Katanya, pernah terjadi dalam keadaan tidak sedar, dia sendiri bercerita habis apa yang dilakukan di luar rumah kepada isterinya.

"Esoknya dia bercerita balik pada aku apa yang aku ceritakan pada dia, walhal masa itu aku tidur. Rupa-rupanya time aku tak sedar (tidur) tu, dia interview aku dan aku pun ceritakan semuanya. Sejak itu, nak tidur malam pun aku takut, takut kena interview lagi," katanya disambut gelak ketawa kami semua.

Kepada suami-suami patin buah, berhati-hatilah ataupun kembalilah ke sangkar menjadi patin sangkar.

Kepada pembaca Kelab 40, selamat mengundi untuk Anugerah Grup Buku Karangkraf 2013.

New Property : CYBERSQUARE, Cyberjaya

Dear diary,
Insecurity drives me to write this posting. I hate this feeling but it keeps creeping into me and into my dreams. I have to let it out and put it into writing, to make me more cautious , improve myself and provide security for me and my children.
My hubby and I bought a SoHo in Cyberjaya recently . Small but comfortable for newly wed or expatriate to rent. Just for future record, this apartment is for my kids to sustain their life in the future - either for their studies or for their own stay.. what with property prices shooting up every single year I feel there's a need to have an asset for my children's sake.
This apt falls under DIBS (Developer Interest Bearer Scheme) which means I don't need to pay anything until it is complete ,which is due in end 2016/early 2017.

Up to this date, I have settled payment for this house :
i) RM 5000 - for booking, which is going to be refunded upon receiving keys.
ii) RM 1355 - fees for loan agreement.

I need to record this, as in the future anything can happen either to me or my hubby or us, both.
If anything happens to our marriage (na'uzubillah..), I need this house to be returned to me and my kids. If anything happens to me (na'uzubillah..), this house will go to my children and my husband cannot use this apt, either to take rental or sell before my children reach the age of 21 years old.

This might sound cruel to some, but hey u never know what's going to happen in the future...but i'm not praying for this to happen either..sometimes it's the family interference, 3rd party interference (na'uzubillah to all..) or influence from unwanted party in an institution.

For whatever reason, I have to build a brickwall around me and my kids.
I want to have a happy, blissful and last till Jannah marriage.
I want to have a loyal-to-me husband and a good father for my kids..insyaAllah all the good things will come to my life now and forever..

Status Wajib bagi Wanita

credit to Ms Rohaniah..
 
Status buat wanita.

walau besar mana gaji suami anda, walau malas macamana pun anda, walau berapa pun bilangan anak anda
anda mesti ada kerjaya.

Sebab
- hari ini dia suami kita, esok dia suami orang lain juga
- hari ini dia suami kita, esok kita tak ada suami dah
- hari ini dia ada pendapatan, esok dia kehilangan pendapatannya

Sentiasa kena ada backup.
Sentiasa kena ada Plan B.

Artikel Muhasabah diri...especially to kaum lelaki

Perkongsian yang sangat menarik dari saudara Saiful Nang & Warga Prihatin.

As a backup to me if my other half need some reference...semoga dia menjauhi menjadi orang yang tidak adil..

 

 

Hari ini Warga Prihatin bikin artikel panas bontot lagi. Kali ini saya baca bagaimana poligami itu dihuraikan dalam sau sisi yang sangat berbeza tetapi saya yakin inilah yang paling praktikal. Terutama kepada mereka yang sedang pasang niat nak poligami ni, bacalah dan jangan lupa ada 2 kerat ayat Quran yang disertakan di situ untuk dibaca dengan hati tenang. Bukan dengan emosi.

Tapi orang yang berniat nak poligami, atau dah berpoligami MESTI SENTAP punya. Kalau baca di ruangan komen pun dah ada golongan itu yang dah menyentap jiwa raga hehehhe.

Jangan komen di sini, saya share sahaja. Nak soal jawab komen di sana. Saya share kerana saya SETUJU BANGAT.

POLIGAMI : SUNNAH YANG MENJADI FITNAH

Salam semua khalayak pembaca. Selepas kita keluarkan artikel tentang isteri dan juga kegagalan suami menjalankan fungsinya, kini kita tiba di satu topik panas yang pastinya isteri-isteri akan tersenyum lebar. Kami pula akan bengkak kepala kena hentam oleh mereka yang berkepentingan. Tolong jangan marah kami, kerana ini satu cetusan, bukan satu ketetapan, kecuali anda boleh nampak jelas ianya adalah tulin dari hidayah dan aturan Allah.

Memang telah termaktub sebelum inipun, jika sunnah nabi yang paling popular pada wanita ialah “Suami romantik” dan untuk lelaki pula ialah sunnah ‘POLIGAMI’, kahwin 4, dijaja motivasi PAYUNG EMAS habis habisan. Bahkan Payung Emas itu sendiripun sang penjaja tak faham dengan jelas secara sains praktikalnya. Ada segelintir madu madu yang meneran juga untuk menelan dengan kelat sekali hanya kerana penyampainya sangat kelihatan ‘beragama’.

Pada hari ini, Warga Prihatin akan mengupas isu poligami ini atas desakan yang bertalu talu dari pembaca. Kami anggap isu ini sebahgian dari banyak prioriti memandangkan kami mendapat maklumbalas dari artikel sebelum ini dari isteri-isteri yang dianiaya dengan paksa untuk bekerja bagi menampung keluarga dan menanggung suami yang berpoligami. Mendengar rintihan yang diadukan pun kami rasa panas hati dan seakan tidak percaya ada lelaki sedayus itu.

NASAH MANSUH POLIGAMI

Bila kahwin 2,3 atau 4 sahaja mereka jawab IKUT SUNNAH NABI. Lihat tu, Allah perintah mulakan dari 2, bukan satu. Itulah jawapan pelepas kepada semua persoalan bagi membenarkan tuntutan nafsu sebahagian mereka. Masih ingat lagi keperluan melihat perintah Allah secara kaffah? Secara menyeluruh, secara helikopter atau birds eye view? Masih ingat NASAH dan MANSUH? Nafi dan isbat? Pro dan kontra?

Mari kita lihat, bagaimana halusnya Allah dalam menyindir manusia tentang poligami. Ini ayat yang pertama;

وَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلا تُقْسِطُوا فِي الْيَتَامَى فَانْكِحُوا مَا طَابَ لَكُمْ مِنَ النِّسَاءِ مَثْنَى وَثُلاثَ وَرُبَاعَ فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلا تَعْدِلُوا فَوَاحِدَةً أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُكُمْ ذَلِكَ أَدْنَى أَلا تَعُولُوا

Dan jika kamu takut tidak akan dapat berlaku adil terhadap perempuan yatim maka kawinilah wanita-wanita yang kamu senangi: dua, tiga atau empat. Kemudian jika kamu takut tidak akan dapat berlaku adil, maka (kahwinilah) SEORANG SAJA, atau budak-budak yang kamu miliki. Yang demikian ITU ADALAH LEBIH DEKAT KEPADA TIDAK BERBUAT ANIAYA. [An-Nisa: 3].

Dalam ayat ini JELAS Allah nyatakan tentang keadilan jika mahu berkahwin. Jika takut tak mampu berlaku adil, bahkan akan menganiaya, maka kahwinlah seorang sahaja. Ayat ini sangat jelas dan mampu difahami secara muhkammat, secara langsung. Mudahnya, nak berpoligami itu BOLEH tetapi wajib untuk berlaku adil kepada isteri-isteri.

Soal besarnya ialah…MAMPUKAH KITA BERLAKU ADIL?

Kita lihat apa yang Allah jawab;

وَلَنْ تَسْتَطِيعُوا أَنْ تَعْدِلُوا بَيْنَ النِّسَاءِ وَلَوْ حَرَصْتُمْ فَلا تَمِيلُوا كُلَّ الْمَيْلِ فَتَذَرُوهَا كَالْمُعَلَّقَةِ وَإِنْ تُصْلِحُوا وَتَتَّقُوا فَإِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ غَفُورًا رَحِيمًا

Dan KAMU SEKALI-KALI TIDAK AKAN DAPAT BERLAKU ADIL di antara isteri- isteri (mu), walaupun kamu sangat ingin berbuat demikian, karena itu janganlah kamu terlalu cenderung, sehingga kamu biarkan yang lain terkatung-katung. Dan jika kamu MENGADAKAN PERBAIKAN DAN MEMELIHARA DIRI, maka sesungguhnya Allah Maha Pengampun lagi Maha Penyayang. [An-Nisa: 129]

Ya, itu dia, biasa kita suka ambil ayat yang pertama di atas dan jarang pula nak jengah-jengah ayat 129 ini pula. Makanya, ramai pula yang sebenarnya berpoligami tapi tak tahu syarat poligami itu sendiri. ALLAH SENDIRI CONFIRM KITA TAK AKAN SEKALI-KALI MAMPU BERLAKU ADIL dan menjadi adil pula adalah satu syarat poligami. Boleh nampak apa ayat kami seterusnya? Itulah nasah mansuh yang boleh difikir-fikirkan.

Jika anda tanya kepada suami anda soalan seperti “Bolehkah saya beli handbag Prada tu?” lalu dijawab oleh suami anda, “Boleh kalau you boleh bagi saya segenggam tanah dari planet Pluto”. Agak-agak, suami anda IZINKAN atau tidak jika jawapannya begitu?

Bila tiba isu poligami, semua kata nak ikut nabi. Mengapa pula janda berumur 40 tahun yang telah 2 kali menjanda tidak pula menjadi pilihan untuk perkahwinan pertama? Biasa yang kita lihat, umur dah 40 tahun tetapi kahwin isteri ke-dua berumur 18 tahun. Jika benar nak ikut sunnah, ikutlah sehabis baik. Itulah salah satu salahfaham mereka yang suka ambil ayat Allah yang mana sedap-sedap sahaja. Ayat Allah yang tak sedap untuk mereka disorok-sorokkan.

Ini MASALAHNYA bila penceramah sendiri PRO kepada poligami, ayat ALLAH dijadikan umpan kearah apa yang sedap sedap bagi dirinya saja. Kita harap mereka ini tidak berkata benar kerana jahil, bukan kerana sengaja. Itu saja untuk bersangka baik, semuga kita dan mereka tidak berdosa.

AKU NIKAHKAN AKU ATAU KAMI NIKAHKAN KAMU

Tidaklah ini bermakna kami mengharamkan poligami kerana nabi juga berpoligami. Tetapi ada beza banyak dari segi klaus pernikahan nabi berbanding dengan datuk-datuk VIP yang menikah artis muda jadi bini nombor 2,3 atau ke-4. Niatnya baik nak ikut sunnah, tetapi SIAPA yang kahwinkan mereka? Adakah mereka sendiri yang memilih untuk berkahwin ataupun KAMI yang memilihkannya.

ISU AKU dan KAMI dalam Al-Quran itu ringkasnya adalah gantidiri Allah itu sendiri. AKU bermaksud Allah yang ghaib yang sedang bersemayam di atas Arasy. Sebaliknya, KAMI pula adalah jemaah pentajali atau pelaksana sistem, RUBUBIAH Allah atau SUNATULLAH yang dilaksanakan dalam bentuk kelompok komuniti aka JEMAAH.

Pernikahan Nabi DINIKAHKAN oleh KAMI, Jemaah Islam ketika itu (Ahlulbait) disebabkan beberapa faktor seperti pembelaan balu-balu mujahid yang suaminya mati di Sabil Allah.

Isu Anak angkat dan anak kandung adalah hal kehidupan yang sangat lumrah yang Allah tegaskan hukum hakamnya. Oleh itu, ada juga kes di mana Nabi s.a.w. dinikahkan dengan anak angkat baginda atas sebab untuk mengesahkan hukum. Supaya apabila Nabi sendiri tergamak menikahi anak angkat sendiri, maka tidaklah umat selepasnya teragak agak lagi untuk membenarkan hukum munakahat itu.

Perhatikan ayat ini.

Surah 33. Al Ahzab 37. Dan, ketika kamu berkata kepada orang yang Allah telah melimpahkan nikmat kepadanya dan kamu telah memberi nikmat kepadanya: "Tahanlah terus isterimu dan bertakwalah kepada Allah", sedang kamu menyembunyikan di dalam hatimu apa yang Allah akan menyatakannya, dan kamu takut kepada manusia, sedang Allah-lah yang lebih berhak untuk kamu takuti. Maka tatkala Zaid telah mengakhiri keperluan terhadap istrinya, KAMI KAWINKAN KAMU dengan dia SUPAYA TIDAK ADA KEBERATAN BAGI ORANG MUKMIN untuk (mengawini) isteri-isteri anak-anak angkat mereka, apabila anak-anak angkat itu telah menyelesaikan keperluannya daripada isterinya. Dan adalah ketetapan Allah itu pasti terjadi.

ADAKAH NABI KAKI BETINA?

Inilah fitnah besar dikalangan anti-Islam terhadap Nabi s.a.w. yang tidak ramai pembela Islam mampu menerangkan dengan rasional. Pernikahan dengan Aishah r.a. ada kisah di sebaliknya. Jika anda atau orang bukan Islam fikir nabi seorang yang ‘womanising’ atau ‘sex maniac’ kerana mengahwini seorang gadis berusia 9 tahun, tolonglah fikirkan semula.

Aisyah RA merupakan satu-satunya isteri nabi yang dikahwini nabi semasa gadisnya. Itupun setelah Isteri pertama yang sudah 15 tahun lebih tua dari baginda itu wafat. Begitu hebat MARTABAT ISTERI PERTAMA. Yang lain kebanyakkannya JANDA, itupun semuanya atas permintaan jemaah semata mata bertujuan MEMBELA balu dan anak-anak arwah Mujahid yang telah berjihad untuk membalas jasa.

Calun poligami kita sekarang bagaimana? Berapa ramai yang dara? Berapa ramai yang janda? Berapa ramai balu mujahid yang telah kita kahwini? Siapa yang sahkan itu isteri mujahid? Perkahwinan itu atas saranan jemaah atau atas keinginan kita sendiri? berapa banyak isteri tua yang terbiar merana hati dan sengsara kesempitan hidup? Kita bela isteri muda atau isteri muda yang bela kita?

Kisah bagaimana nabi diminta oleh sahabat baginda Abu Bakar a.s. yang merayu untuk menitipkan anaknya itu dibawah jagaan baginda juga harus diteliti. Kami tertarik dengan riwayat yang menyatakan KESYUKURAN PALING BESAR ABUBAKAR ADALAH KERANA BAGINDA SUDI MENJAGA AISHAH SEBAGAI ISTERI.

Kita harus ingat, ketika pernikahan baginda dengan Aishah r.a., kesempurnaan Islam baru separuh jalan. Masih ramai yang hidup haru biru lagi akibat kejahilan ketika itu. Setiap permasalahan umat menjadi asbab kepada turunnya ayat (asbabul Nuzul). Kita semua tahu bahawa Aishah r.a. adalah isteri yang paling banyak jadi sebab turunnya wahyu. Oleh itu secara metamatiknya beliau juga pencetus kepada turunnya Wahyu bagi menangani masalah yang berkaitan dengannya.

Jikalah Aisyah itu tidak bermasalah, tidaklah sampai Abu Bakar memukul muka sendiri sampai berdarah kerana kebiadaban Aisyah kepada Nabi (suami) sendiri yang mengatakan baginda itu ‘perasan saja’ sebagai rasul. Jika isteri kita berkata macam itu berdesing tak telinga? Teliti juga sikap berkeliaran Aishah r.a. yang sampai tertinggal kerana mencari kalung yang hilang tanpa pengetahuan baginda lalu menumpang kenderaan lelaki lain. Bengang Rasulullah s.a.w. bukan kepalang sampai ada riwayat mengatakan sehingga 40 hari baginda tidak tegur isterinya sehinggalah Allah turunkan wahyu. Tapi inilah hikmah dan fatonahnya Nabi s.a.w. Aisyah dididik dengan sabar oleh Nabi sendiri sebagai membalas jasa sahabat baginda yang paling setia. Masalah yang baginda hadapi daripada Aishah r.a. dijadikan cetusan ilmu dan asbab mendapat wahyu. Bagaimana pula kita menangani masalah isteri?

Kita semua tahu dari 12 jumlah isteri baginda, Nabi tiada anak bersama Aisyah r.a. dan juga semua isteri yang lain KECUALI Khadijah dan Maria Al-Qibtiyyah, seorang hamba wanita yang dikirim oleh Muqawqis dari Byzantine sebagai tanda persahabatan antara Islam dan Kristian. Adakah mereka itu mandul? Atau nabi mandul? Anda tahu sendiri jawabnya. Apakah jenis nafkah batin termahal yang nabi gilirkan kepada kesemua isteri isteri baginda? Ya itulah ilmu, pendidikan yang sangat menyenangkan hati dari seorang insan mulia. Jika itu bentuk nafkah batinnya, boleh adil tak? Sila jawab dalam hati.

Apapun tidaklah kami nak tekankan yang nabi tidak jimak isteri baginda yang lain. Yang nak kami tekankan ialah poligami nabi bukan semata mata kerana nafsu syahwat seperti yang difitnah oleh musuh Islam. Baginda berpoligami atas tanggungjawab memberi perlindungan kepada balu-balu mujahid yang telah Allah janjikan untuk anak dan isteri mereka dijaga sekiranya mereka ini gugur. Jaminan Allah itulah yang membuatkan Jemaah Islam (KAMI) yang mentajalikan sifat Allah itu menikahkan Nabi kepada balu-balu mujahid Islam. Itu satu penghormatan kepada mujahid yang gugur. Kita bagaimana?

Sekarang ini, datuk-datuk dan Tan Sri Tan Sri yang kahwin bini kedua, tiga dan empat itu SIAPA YANG NIKAHKAN? Mereka minta dinikahkan ataupun KAMI yang menikahkannya?. Ternyata, mereka lakukannya atas kemahuan sendiri sahaja. Nabi kahwin kerana untuk menjaga kebajikan dan bukannya seperti ada antara kita yang berpoligami kerana putus asa mendidik isteri, bahkan ada yang kerana terlanjur, tertangkap BASAH BASAH dek JAIS, ataupun termengandung (nauzubillah).

Tak kurang juga Suami yang mengambil kesempatan dayusnya kepada isteri agar isterinya berkerja dan menyara Sang Suami yang malas itu. Banyak kes yang dirujuk kepada kami sangat menyedihkan. Mereka memasang “cawangan” merata tempat tetapi tanpa penjagaan. Duit kahwin pun silap-silap cilok dari isteri tua. Hasilnya, suami sebegitu seperti seekor kambing atau lembu jantan yang ‘disewakan’ untuk mengawan sahaja.

PAYUNG EMAS?

GIMIK POLITIK poligami yang selalu dimainkan ialah isteri yang mengizinkan suaminya berpoligami akan dapat layanan payung emas, sebagai penghulu di syurga. Betul ker? Bagi kami jangan harap nak dapat payung emas syurga di akhirat sana jika anda tidak mampu merealisasikan payung emas dalam syurga di dunia ini. Sebab janji Allah itu benar. Di dunia ini pun ada syurganya, ‘the living heaven’. Itulah RUMAHKU SYURGAKU, hasil dari ketepatan, KEADILAN perlaksanaan aturan Allah yang ditunaikan didunia ini sebagai tiket ke syurga sana.

Sebenarnya apabila TELAH sama sama difahami bahawa pernikahan kedua suami itu atas kehendak Allah, yang diputuskan oleh pihak KAMI, pasti isteri tua akan redha walaupun ada sedikit rasa kecewa. Keizinan itu akan dipohon oleh pihak KAMI dengan tarbiah kefahaman berlandaskan wahyu, bukan oleh sang suami yang curi cap ibu jari ketika isteri tidur macam kita. Keredhaan itu nanti akan sangat dihargai pula oleh madunya. Sebagai tanda terimakasih, mereka akan sangat menghormati dan menyayangi madu tua mereka. Tidak mustahil madu muda akan sanggup melakukan semua kerja rumah dan meringankan beban isteri tua yang telah rela membahagi kasih padanya.

Sang suami pula akan bertambah kasih atas kepatuhan isteri tuanya yang telah sanggup menerima ketentuan KAMI atas kemasalahatan agama itu. Jumlah punya jumlah daripada hanya mendapat SECEBIS kasih dari seorang suami, isteri tua mendapat SELONGGOK kasih dari suami yang sama. Campur pula dengan LIMPAHAN KASIH dari madu madunya. Bukan itu saja, daripada dulu terbongkok bongkok mengurus rumah sendirian, kini beliau jadi PENGHULU RUMAH untuk mengatur madu madu yang menyayanginya. Beliau tetap menjadi pemegang amanah rumahtangga, termasuk kewangan dan rujukan sebarang keputusan apa saja dari madunya. Itulah falsafah disebalik PAYUNG EMAS… indah bukan?

FALSAFAH KEADILAN ISLAM

Keadilan tidak semestinya semuanya sama banyak, sama rata tetapi keadilan itu berlaku dalam banyak cara. Jika isteri tua ada 11 orang anak, berilah rumah, kereta yang cukup besar dan belanja yang cukup untuk 11 orang anak. Isteri muda yang belum ada anak memadai dengan keperluan ruang hidup dan kenderaan yang sesuai saja. Anak lelaki belikan songkok, anak nisak belikan tudung, bukan kedua duanya dibelikan songkok sebagai tanda adil.

Dalam 1 kes study kami yang paling sadis, ada suami yang sambung belajar di luar negeri dengan isteri tua berkorban jual nasi lemak. Suami enjoy di sana bersama anak seorang datuk dengan kemewahan sampai study pun gagal. Balik Malaysia nikah lagi dengan gadis seksi yang berharta, duduk rumah teres dua tingkat 5 bilik dengan kereta BMW. Isteri tua dengan 11 anak masih duduk di rumah MERPATI PKNS yang ada hanya 2 bilik meneruskan hidup dengan jual nasi lemak. Kadang makan kadang tidak, anak anak tidak sekolah. Makan minum isteri tua tidak ambil tahu. Selama 3 tahun isteri tua tidak tahupun yang suaminya ada rumah mewah tidak sampai 2km dari rumah burung merpati yang menyedihkan itu. Kerja Sang Suami ini ialah menetapkan 4 isteri dalam satu masa. Melepaskan seorang dari mereka jika ingin nikahi yang baru dan begitulah seterusnya.

Rasanya zaman sekarang ini, payung emas tu boleh jadi juga alat berperang. Madu akan capai ikut sempat sekalipun sekadar dapat batang payung warna emas…

POLIGAMI KERANA LAYANAN ISTERI BERMASALAH?

Satu lagi isu besar mengapa suami berpoligami adalah disebabkan oleh layanan buruk isteri yang menganggap REMEH saja hal layanan terhadap suami ini. Maklumlah, dah bekerjaya katakan. Gajipun dah lebih besar dari suami, lalu suamipun kahwin lagi satu barulah meraung-raung tak berlagu.

Ada juga kes yang memeranjatkan kami jenis isteri yang terlalu taksub dengan nasihat ibu bapa. Setiap kali mengandung masuk 4 bulan, langsung pacak signboard “NO ENTRY” besar-besar sampailah 6 bulan lepas bersalin. Keperluan suami lansung tak terlayan, mengigal-ngigallah di bilik air Si suami malang itu hampir setahun. Manalah tidak suami pasang cawangan. Bila dah ada madu, pandai pula bersaing-saing untuk jadi yang terbaik.

POLIGAMI KERANA TIADA ZURIAT?

Ada suami yang berpoligami kerana masalah zuriat yang mana Nabi Ibrahim a.s. juga menggunakan cara yang sama. Baginda menikahi Siti Hajar kerana Siti Sarah lambat mendapatkan zuriat. Dalam masa yang sama, Siti Sarah adalah anak golongan bangsawan yang dinikahi oleh Nabi Ibrahim. Orang bangsawan, perangai karenah pun bangsawanlah, sehingga Nabi Ibrahim menikahi Siti Hajar yang hanya seorang hamba abdi sahaja. Siti Sarah yang sampai khabarnya dikhatankan untuk menundukkan nafsunya itu terpukul dengan ketaatan Siti Hajar lalu beliau juga berubah menjadi isteri yang baik untuk Nabi Ibrahim A.S. dan berjaya melahirkan zuriat. Tak taulah samada sebelumnya beliau tiada zuriat kerana terlalu merancang atau sering menolak ajakkan. Wallahuaklam.

Jika nak ikut sunnah Nabi Ibrahim, berkahwinlah dengan hamba abdi sahaja dan bukannya cari artis-artis atau wanita berdahi licin bertubuh mongel. Fikir nak sedap sendiri sahaja dan bukannya kerana ALLAH. Jika nak ikut sunnah Nabi Muhammad s.a.w., maka kahwinlah dengan janda-janda yang sudah tua nak menopause dan sebahagian yang memang dah pun menopause, yang 15 tahun lebih tua sebagai isteri pertama. Itupun taknak juga…!

JANGAN FITNAH AGAMA INI DENGAN SALAHGUNA POLIGAMI

Jadi pada hari ini, apakah tujuan kita nak berpoligami WALAUPUN Allah dah terang-terang nyatakan KITA TAK MUNGKIN mampu berlaku adil walaupun kita mencuba dan mahukannya.

Yang mampu berlaku adil dan membahagiakan kesemua isteri yang bermadu kami ucapkan tahniah kerana telah menolak fitnah agama ini. yang terasa ilmu dan iman masih tipis, Janganlah suka suka berpoligami jika ia sekadar membuatkan manusia lain membenci agama suci ini. Nabi Muhammad dinikahkan kerana menjaga kebajikan balu dan anak-anak mujahid. Kita pula untuk apa?

- Untuk sedap?
- Untuk mendabik dada dapat isteri artis muda?
- Nak melampias nafsu?
- Siapakah mujahid yang balunya mahu anda bela?
- Siapakah hamba abdi yang mahu anda kahwini untuk dapatkan zuriat?

Fikirkan semula. Jika Allah sudah firmankan seperti di awal artikel ini, siapakah kita untuk melanggarnya. Berpoligamilah jika mampu berlaku adil. Allah sudah nyatakan kita TAK MUNGKIN MAMPU BERLAKU ADIL. Oleh itu, jalan terbaik di hujung ayat itu ialah dengan MENASIHATKAN KITA BUAT ISLAH, KOREKSI perangai isteri yang tidak kita sukai biar seteruk manapun. Jika setelah habis usaha tak boleh jugak, maka minta bantuan jemaah untuk menasihati isteri kita atau jika perlu untuk nikahkan kita. Kesimpulannya kami nak tanya,

- Adakah sebenarnya Allah izinkan poligami secara umum?
- Atau ia satu kemahuan nafsu bagi insan yang tidak maksum?

Ustaz-ustaz harap dapat bantu jawab soalan-soalan yang kami tinggalkan ini.

Iqra dari
WARGA PRIHATIN

Sacrifice and its analogy

And it's no sacrifice
Just a simple word
It's 2 hearts living
In 2 separate worlds
But its no sacrifice
No sacrifice
Its no sacrifice at all...

Sacrifice...that word alone can have different meaning to different people. Most of the time sacrifice is meant for good and positive things..
Same goes with my life..i'm in the process / journey to find the true meaning of sacrifice for my husband's sake.This journey is to get his keredhaan, apart from the first one which is keredhaan from Allah swt..

Sacrifice is a struggle.
I have come to 36 years of living in this world..there are some things i see everyday for the past 36 years as normal and it becomes a habit in my life..families find it normal, close friends find it normal...but when you get married, 2 hearts become 1 and all the normality that u had for the past years is now becoming odd to others especially your other half.
The oddness become so apparent each day that u r forced by your other half to change...yes, to change...
Take a look at it, on a positive side, the change is for his sake..not for anyone else, but for him alone..

Analogy...

You have eaten your rice for the past 36 years with 'kicap'...day in day out you always had your lunch, dinner etc with kicap. near/far, down/low u must have your kicap without fail. Suddenly when u r married, your spouse find it unacceptable to see u having your meal with kicap anymore. Your spouse find it annoying , odd and suddenly blurt it out.... the spouse want u to change this habit, the habit that u thought ist okay and harmless for all your life but now it's not anymore...
OK u thought...for my spouse sake, I will change.. suddenly yr meal is not as tempting and delicious as before..
yr spouse saw u r not satisfied with yr meal and offered an alternative..tomato sauce+chilli sauce + black colourings+ water that u mix together and be the substitute of that kicap... he said it's good , try it lah..change your habit , change to this liquid in your meal!!! this is normal in our culture and religion to eat this liquid substitute..

Your spouse also claims it's good for your health, no preservatives (just analogy here) what not..well, u take it and swallow it with a smile on your face, gobble down your meal without munching as long as he's happy...

since he brought up the subject of eating healthy, u take one step further up..u choose to change your lifestyle to suit a healthy lifestyle..u dun eat meat, chicken, fish, seafood etc...now u become vegetarian..it's difficult u admit it, but u r all out to change everything to make him happy, be acceptable to him...

your spouse find it hard to accept when u have changed totally...not being the old you, who r happy-go-lucky and free to choose your meal , now u r becoming food freak and be very very particular in your food intake...calories here,cholesterol there  etc...

he's not happy again because he has lost the old ,vibrant , chirpy and happy mealtime mate...u r now becoming more cautious on every single thing that pops into your mouth when u r around him..u have become too careful , too paranoid on your food intake that people around u especially your spouse notice..

he confront u and said he doesn't want u to change up to this level...he wants u to change not too much and he wants u to be your oldself again..

Close analogy....

well, in life u can't have everything..give n take here n there...u asked me to change, i cahnge ...but for that change to be efficient and changing a lifetime habit in one single night is impossible...to fasten the proccess, i have to change for the betterment and it might effect the other habit that u find it attractive last time when we're courting...

sorry if u found me less vibrant, becomes quiet nowadays, less talking,keep opinions to myself & even biting my lips to surpress anger @opinions, less n less dependent on u ..i'm afraid if i don't take these steps i might not be able to change the level that u want me to be ...i'm afraid that i might add more sins if i dont do it..

back to the word sacrifice ...these are the sacrifices that i need to adapt and practice to be as u want me to be...

Heart to Heart talk

Dear diary,
we had heart to heart talk yesterday...heart wrenching when he said that he's sooooo dissapointed with my attitude..my anger, my-not-so-favorful-answer-to-his-questions sometimes, the 'claimed disrespect'..
gosh...he's been keeping these in his heart all this while..he''s hurt by me.
he's not happy because of me..
i broke his heart with my egoistic and idiotic attitude.
he's hurt by my anger..

oh Allah, seandainya umurku tidak panjang aku tidak mahu menghabiskan sisa usiaku mendapat dosa kerana derhaka pada suamiku. Aku memohon dalam waktu yang sedikit ini untuk menjadi isteri yang solehah dan menjadi isteri yang sentiasa dingatan suamiku sehingga ke akhir hayatku.

aku tolak ke tepi rasa kecil hatiku ...
aku buang rasa ego ku jauh-jauh...
walau apa yg aku rasa terkilan sekian lama itu, aku pula perlu pendam demi suamiku..
kali ini biar aku yg berkorban untuk suamiku...
kali ini biar aku yg rasa perit & pedih memendam rasa..
semua demi kebahagiaan suami aku..
aku perlu tambah rasa hormat, sayang & kasihan aku pada suamiku biar apapun situasinya..
aku nak dia pula bahagia..

If...

kalau dia kenyang.. dia diam x tanya org lain lapar ke tak walaupon time tu dh lunch hour..

dgn kawan ofis dia blh citer mcm2... everything... tp dgn wife diam x reti bercerita apa2..semuaaaa kena tunggu ditanya baru ada cerita... walau cerita tu very important n he knows his wife is waiting for the result or related stories to it but somehow it slips off his mind when he comes home...

when the needs arise then only he will come n gosok2 me but when he's not in da mood... plthhh .... duduk jauh sebatu walau dlm rumah sendiri tp kalau when he needs me pandai plak semua nak kena dekat2.. heyy... sometimes maybe our mood dun match each other' s time but hey c'mon pls respond when i need it too... not just yr mood..

and here i tot that taking yr spouse as yr best friend ...hmmm...
dun blame me if i start to do da same thing to u... not that i want to but somehow yr attitude changes me!!!

Kos peguam...for my own record

Dalam kes kita ni, peguam memainkan peranan penting. Sepatutnya Peguam yang menasihatkan kita dalam pelaburan hartanah ni. Tapi “Be Alert”. Tak semua peguam macam tu. Ada yang buat kerja sambil lewa. Pengalaman aku bersama Tetuan Saufi Putra and Associates yang beribu pejabat di Batu Caves, Tetuan Mohd Ali and Co yang beribu pejabat di Setiawangsa dan Tetuan Ram Reza and Muhammad beribu pejabat di Gombak membuatkan aku lebih berjaga-jaga dan sentiasa memantau kerja mereka.
Kali ni aku nak sentuh bagaimana kiraan fi peguam dibuat.

• Fi Peguam

RM150,000 pertama – 1%
RM150,001 hingga RM850,000 – 0.7%
RM850,001 hingga RM2,000,000 – 0.6%
Selepas RM 2,000,000 – 0.5%

• Harga Duti Stem

RM100,000 pertama – 1%
RM100,001 hingga RM500,000 – 2%
Selepas RM500,000 – 3%

• Lain-lain

Fi Setem (Setiap dokumen) – RM10
“Adjudication Fee” – RM10
Akuan Bersumpah – RM30-RM50
Carian Tanah – RM60-RM120
Fi Pendaftaran – RM100
Banyak lagi pecahan-pecahan. Ini belum termasuk kos surat-menyurat, minyak runner, telefon/fax dll

beri perhatian kepada yang berikut :

• Dokumen yang terlibat dalam pembelian rumah lelong atau sekunder (subsale)

PSA – Property Sale Agreement
PPA – Property Purchase Agreement
DA -Deed of Assigment
PA – Power Of Attorney
(yang ini semua dokumen untuk loan documentation)
MOT – Memorandum of Transfer (Form 14A)
(yang ini untuk tukar nama atas master title/Strata title)
Yang ada jadual kat atas sekali tu digunapakai untuk MOT.

Contoh :
Rumah Harga Beli : RM60,000
Fi peguam = 1% (RM600)
Duti Setem = 1% (RM600)
Carian Tanah = RM100
Akuan Bersumpah = RM50
Carian Bankrupt = RM50
Pengesahan Pemaju = RM50
Perbelanjaan lain = RM200
“Adjudicate” = RM10
Total kat sini je dah sampai RM1,660….wow…ini baru Memorandum of Transfer sahaja..belum masuk Loan Documentation.

7 Common Habits of Unhappy People...and oh how i try to avoid this!

Circumstances can certainly make life unhappy. But a part – often a big part – of unhappiness comes from our own thinking, behavior and habits.

In this article I’d like to share 7 of the most destructive daily habits that can create quite a bit of unhappiness within and in your own little world.

But I’ll also share what has worked, what has helped me to minimize or overcome these habits in my life.

1. Aiming for perfection.

Does life has to be perfect before you are happy?

Do you have to behave in a perfect way and get perfect results to be happy?

Then happiness will not be easy to find. Setting the bar for your performance at an inhuman level usually leads to low self-esteem and feeling like you are not good enough even though you may have had a lot of good or excellent results. You and what you do is never enough good enough except maybe once in a while when feels like something goes just perfect.

How to overcome this habit:

Three things that helped me to kick the perfectionism habit and become more relaxed:

• Go for good enough. Aiming for perfection usually winds up in a project or something else never being finished. So go for good enough instead. Don’t use it as an excuse to slack off. But simply realize that there is something called good enough and when you are there then you are finished with whatever you are doing.
• Have a deadline. I set deadlines every time that start with a new premium guide. Because about a year ago, when I was working on my second e-book, I realized that just working on it and releasing it when it was done would not work. Because I could always find stuff to add to it. So I had to set a deadline. Setting a deadline gave me a kick in the butt and it is generally good way to help you to let go of a need to polish things a bit too much.
• Realize what it costs you when you buy into myths of perfection. This was a very powerful reason for me to let go of perfectionism and one I tell myself still if I find thoughts of perfection pop up in my mind. By watching too many movies, listening to too many songs and just taking in what the world is telling you it is very easy to be lulled into dreams of perfection. It sounds so good and wonderful and you want it.
  But in real life it clashes with reality and tends to cause much suffering and stress within you and in the people around you. It can harm or possibly lead you to end relationships, jobs, projects etc. just because your expectations are out of this world. I find it very helpful to remind myself of this simple fact.

2. Living in a sea of negative voices.

No one is an island. Who we socialize with, what we read, watch and listen to has big effect on how we feel and think.

It becomes a lot harder to be happier if you let yourself be dragged down by negative voices. Voices that tell you that life will in large part always be unhappy, dangerous and filled with fear and limits. Voices that watch life from a negative perspective.

How to overcome this habit:

Replacing those negative voices with more positive influences is very powerful. It can be like a whole new world opening up.

So spend more time with positive people, inspiring music and books, movies and TV-shows that make you laugh and think about life in a new way.

You can start small. For example, try reading an uplifting blog or book or listen to an audio book while eating your breakfast one morning this week instead of reading the paper or watching the morning news on TV.

3. Getting stuck in the past and future too much.

Spending much of your time in the past and reliving old painful memories, conflicts, missed opportunities and so on can hurt whole lot. Spending much of your time in the future and imagining how things could go wrong at work, in your relationships and with your health can build into horrifying nightmare scenarios playing over and over in your head. Not being here right now in life as it happens can lead to missing out on a lot of wonderful experiences.

No good if you want to be happier.

How to overcome this habit:

It is pretty much impossible to not think about the past or the future. And it is of course important to plan for tomorrow and next year and to try to learn from your past.

But to dwell on those things rarely help.

So I try as best as I can to spend the rest of my time, the big part of my time each day, with living in the now. Just being here right now and being fully focused on these words I am writing and later as I cook and eat my lunch and work out be fully focused on doing that.

Whatever I am doing I try to be there fully and not drift off into the future or past.

If I do drift off then I focus only on my breathing for a few minutes or I sit still and take in what is all around me right now with all my senses for a short while. By doing either of those things I can realign myself with the present moment again.

4. Comparing yourself and your life to others and their lives.

One very common and destructive daily habit is to constantly compare your life and yourself to other people and their lives. You compare cars, houses, jobs, shoes, money, relationships, social popularity and so on. And at the end of the day you pummel your self-esteem to the ground and you create a lot of negative feelings.

How to overcome this habit:

Replace that destructive habit with two other habits.

• Compare yourself to yourself. First, instead of comparing yourself to other people create the habit of comparing yourself to yourself. See how much you have grown, what you have achieved and what progress you have made towards your goals. This habit has the benefit of creating gratitude, appreciation and kindness towards yourself as you observe how far you have come, the obstacles you have overcome and the good stuff you have done.
  You feel good about yourself without having to think less of other people.
• Be kind. In my experience, the way you behave and think towards others seems to have a big, big effect on how you behave towards yourself and think about yourself. Judge and criticize people more and you tend to judge and criticize yourself more (often almost automatically). Be more kind to other people and help them and you tend to be more kind and helpful to yourself.
  Focus on the positive things in yourself and in the people around you. Appreciate what is positive in yourself and others. This way you become more OK with yourself and the people in your world instead of ranking them and yourself and creating differences in your mind.

And remember, you can’t win if you keep comparing. Just consciously realizing this can be helpful. No matter what you do you can pretty much always find someone else in the world that has more than you or are better than you at something.

5. Focusing on the negative details in life.

Seeing the negative aspects of whichever situation you are in and dwelling on those details is a sure way to make yourself unhappy. And to drag down the mood for everyone around you.

How to overcome this habit:

Overcoming this habit can be tricky. One thing that has worked for me is to kick the perfectionism habit. You accept that things and situations will have their upsides and downsides rather than thinking that all details have to positive and excellent. You accept things as they are. This way you can let go emotionally and mentally of what is negative instead of dwelling on it and making mountains out of molehills.

Another thing that works is simply to focus on being constructive. Instead of focusing on dwelling and whining about the negative detail. You can do so by asking better questions. Questions like:

How can I turn this negative thing into something helpful or positive?
How can is solve this problem?

If I am faced with what I start thinking is a problem I may use a third solution, I may ask myself: who cares? I most often then realize that this isn’t really a problem in the long run at all.

6. Limiting life because you believe the world revolves around you.

If you think that the world revolves around you and you hold yourself back because you are afraid what people may think or say if you do something that different or new then you are putting some big limits on your life. How?

Well, you can become less open to trying new things and growing.You can think that the criticism and negativity you encounter is about you or that it is your fault all the time (while it in reality could be about the other person having bad week or you thinking that you can read minds). I have also found that my own shyness used to come from me thinking that people cared a great deal about what I was about to say or do.

How to overcome this habit:

• Realize people don’t care too much about what you do. They have their hands full with worrying about their own lives and what people may think of them instead. Yes, this might make you feel less important in your own head. But it also sets you free a bit more if you’d like that.
• Focus outward. Instead of thinking about yourself and how people may perceive you all the time, focus outward on the people around you. Listen to them and help them. This will help you to raise your self-esteem and help you to reduce that self-centered focus.

7. Overcomplicating life.

Life can be pretty complicated. This can creates stress and unhappiness. But much of this is often created by us. Yes, the world may be becoming more complex but that doesn’t mean that we cannot create new habits that make your own lives a bit simpler.

How to overcome this habit:

Overcomplicating life can involve many habits but I’d like to suggest a few replacement habits to what have been a couple of my own most overcomplicating habits.

• Splitting your focus and having your attention all over the place in everyday life. I replaced that complicating habit with just doing one thing at a time during my day, having a small to-do list with 2-3 very important items and writing down my most important goal on white board that I see each day.
• Having too much stuff. I replaced that habit with regularly asking myself: have I used this in the past year? If not then I will give that thing away or throw it away.
• Creating relationship problems of any kind in your mind. Reading minds is hard. So, instead ask questions and communicate. This will help you to minimize unnecessary conflicts, misunderstandings, negativity and waste or time and energy.
• Getting lost in the in-box. I spend less time and energy on my email in-box by just checking it once a day and writing shorter emails (if possible not more than 5 sentences.)
• Getting lost in stress and overwhelm. When stressed, lost in a problem or the past or future in your mind then, as I mentioned above, breathe with your belly for two minutes and just focus on the air going in and out. This will calm your body down and bring your mind back into the present moment again. Then you can start focusing on doing what is most important for you again.

now this is MY RULES!!!

1: Learn to say, "I don't know." If used when appropriate, it will be used often. 2: It is easier to get into something than to get out of it. 3: If you are not criticized, you may not be doing much 4: Look for what is missing. Many know how to improve what's there; few can see what isn't there. 5: Presentation rule: When something appears on a slide presentation, assume the world knows about it and deal with it accordingly. 6. Work for a boss to whom you can tell it like it is. Remember, you can't pick your family, but you can pick your boss. 7: Constantly review developments to make sure that the actual benefits are what they were supposed to be. Avoid Newton's Law. 8: However menial and trivial your early assignments may appear, give them your best effort. 9: Persistence or tenacity is the disposition to persevere in spite of difficulties, discouragement or indifference. Don't be known as a good starter but a poor finisher! 10: In doing your project, don't wait for others; go after them and make sure it gets done. 11: Confirm the instructions you give others, and their commitments, in writing. Don't assume it will get done. 12: Don't be timid: Speak up, express yourself and promote your ideas. 13: Practice shows that those who speak the most knowingly and confidently often end up with the assignment to get the job done. 14: Strive for brevity and clarity in oral and written reports. 15: Be extremely careful in the accuracy of your statements. 16: Don't overlook the fact that you are working for a boss. Keep him or her informed. Whatever the boss wants, within the bounds of integrity, takes top priority. 17: Promises, schedules and estimates are important instruments in a well-run business. You must make promises — don't lean on the often-used phrase: "I can't estimate it because it depends on many uncertain factors." 18: Never direct a complaint to the top; a serious offense is to "cc" a person's boss on a copy of a complaint before the person has a chance to respond to the complaint. 19: When interacting with people outside the company, remember that you are always representing the company. Be especially careful of your commitments. 20: Cultivate the habit of boiling matters down to the simplest terms: the proverbial "elevator speech" is the best way. 21: Don't get excited in engineering emergencies: Keep your feet on the ground. 22: Cultivate the habit of making quick, clean-cut decisions. 23: When making decisions, the "pros" are much easier to deal with than the "cons." Your boss wants to see both. 24: Don't ever lose your sense of humor. 25: Have fun at what you do. It will be reflected in you work. No one likes a grump except another grump! 26: Treat the name of your company as if it were your own. 27: Beg for the bad news. 28: You remember 1/3 of what you read, 1/2 of what people tell you, but 100% of what you feel. 29: You can't polish a sneaker. 30: When facing issues or problems that are becoming drawn-out, "short them to the ground." 31: When faced with decisions, try to look at them as if you were one level up in the organization. Your perspective will change quickly. 32: A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter, or to others, is not a nice person. (This rule never fails). 33: Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, an amateur built an ark that survived a flood while a large group of professionals built the Titanic! Postscript: The qualities of leadership boil down to confidence, dedication, integrity and love.

I luv u more everyday..today more than yesterday.tomorrow more than today..

Salam 1Malaysia my diary..
today is the day before maulidur rasul..although other people celebrating valentine's day today, i've tried to ignore this fact and stop getting my thoughts into lovey-dovey. the situation is not exactly as lovey-dovey as i thought and i hope.
lately there are lack of communication and laughter between me and him.lack or shall i say totally void? hmmm...hard to say...i've always learned life and relationship lesson through the hard way. i admit i'm a slow learner and slow in understanding people's reaction/emotion. but something has clicked inside me that i should change for the better and stop hurting people around me and myself with the wrong doings and saying the wrong things.i should be more of an introvert.keep things and opinions to myself. and shut up more often than ever..
hurting his feeling is the last thing on earth that i would do...

Tips to be property millionaire

These are some highlights from a handout that Doshi shared in his property intensive preview.

• Have a firm idea on your financial goals. Otherwise, you won’t know which direction to head to. Some examples of financial goals include knowing the number of properties to invest in, your desired passive income, investment strategies you want to apply, and so on.

• Individuals who are less than 35 years old should focus on maximising their earning potential as they are at the prime of earning age.

• Invest in low-risk commercial properties that give high returns of over 8% per annum, with low entry costs.

• For beginners, it’s advisable to start investing in apartments of condominiums as it’s easy to achieve zero or positive cash flow every month, as compared to landed house.

• When you get married, you buy a dream home right away. Instead, it makes more sense to buy an investment property and rent a home for the first 10 to 15 years of your married life.

• Instead of buying costly high-end residential properties, you could invest in commercial properties that give the best of both rental returns and capital appreciation.

• It’s always worthwhile to pay a premium and buy the best properties in great locations.

• Savvy investors creatively buy one property a rear or even one every few months with little or no-money-down.

• Most people’s financial goal is to retire debt-free at age 65. Smart investors aim to retire at age 45 or earlier, by accumulating good debts of at least RM3 million via property investments.


You focus on hitting a certain net worth instead of generating passive income. For example, when you retire debt-free, you must have RM1.8 million in fixed deposit at 2% per annum in order to get RM3,000 per month. Instead, one might be able to get the same amount of passive income by investing RM500,000 in properties.

10 Greatest Money-Wasters For Small Businesses

* home
* About



Running a small business is all about making cash.

Accounts receivable is not cash. Investment in mutual fund is not cash. Letter of intent is not cash. Promise from your high school friend to talk to his rich uncle to invest in your new venture is not cash.

What is cash? Cash is what you can buy stuff from 7-Eleven with.

There are only two ways to make cash. First, make cash sales. Second, cut costs (as Ben Franklin once said, a penny saved is a penny earned). The first one is obvious and thus need not any elaboration. The second one is not so obvious, judging from many small businesses I’ve seen. Unnecessary expenditures cause small businesses to unnecessarily burn cash and eventually go the way of Pets.com.

Here are top ten ways new businesses waste money:

1. Office look

You don’t need that RM5,000 workchair because it’s “ergonomic”. You don’t have to paint your wall Chartreuse Yellow because it gives solace to your soul. You don’t need mahogany door because it may give good impression to your clients.

On the other hand, get your office furniture cheap at a second hand furniture store. There are many companies that went bankrupt during the recession, so you can buy perfectly good furniture at budget price.

And about impressing people: clients are impressed by high profit margin and healthy balance sheet. Mahogany door will not get you a bank loan.

2. Courses

Rather than attend courses, buy books and look things up online. Everything you need to know about doing business is available on the Internet.

Professional courses are usually expensive, since they are held in starred hotels complete with 3 to 4 meals a day. This is suitable for executives in large corporations, but not small business owners. Most of the time, people go to courses to escape from work, and to eat buffet lunches paid for by their company.

Government agencies usually organize cheap or free courses to help small business owners. These are the ones you should go to.

3. Shiny business cards

I have collected hundreds of business card belonging to small business owners. Most of the business cards are glossy and high-quality. Predictably, many of these businesses are not profitable, because their owners are too busy spending money on glossy business cards.

Let me ask you this: why make business cards at all? There is only one correct answer to this question. Please think about it before reading on.

You make business card to give out your phone number and email address to other people.

Make a lot of cheap business card and drop them everywhere. Iznan went to Canton Fair (the largest trade fair in China) last October and dropped hundreds of business cards. Until today, we still receive calls, emails and solicitations from companies in China. What is the use of glossy business cards if nobody ever call your business?

While we’re at this topic, please do away with that cutesy small font. It’s damn annoying to comb through tons of business card to find yours, only to find that I need a laser microscope to read your fax number. Write your phone number and email in LARGE FONT.

4. Stationeries

Yes, everybody like to see his company logo all over the company documents, from invoices to memos. But custom stationeries are expensive to print; better use your cash for more productive pursuits.

What you should do: Photocopy the forms. For invoices etc., embed the logo in Microsoft Words and print it with the documents (in B&W, to save money on color). We only use custom company letterhead for outgoing letters. Custom envelope is stupid. The prettiest envelope will be chucked into the wastebasket after it is opened. Just stamp your company address on the envelopes for outgoing mail.

5. Website

Nobody gives a shit about corporate websites; the only thing worth reading is what you are selling and at what price.

Unless you have an in-house designer, do not hire professionals to do your website. It is expensive. Nobody cares how your website looks like as long at it is easy to retrieve information. Anybody with a brain cell can create a nice website from the various portal management systems available. For fancy designs, use skins instead.

If you want to write a company blog, like this one, do it on Wordpress.

Don’t forget to put your company address, phone and fax number ON THE FRONT PAGE OF YOUR WEBSITE. I have been to government websites with million-dollar budgets having the contact info buried so deep inside you have to click four times just to get a phone number. What do they have on the front page? Visi dan Misi. People are morons.

6. Computers and accessories

A couple of years after we started the company, we have not spent a single cent to buy a computer. Everybody uses his personal laptop, which is more convenient. We only have one desktop in the office, my personal desktop which I bought in 2004. Using networking, everyone can access shared folders on the desktop to keep important company files.

Jot down the dates of the next PC Fair to buy all your computing needs. Do not buy more than you need. If your business doesn’t require you to print hundreds of pages a day, you don’t have to buy expensive 4-in-1 “printing solutions”. Just get a cheap printer that can print fast. Nine out of ten times it is cheaper to walk to the photocopy shop, rather than leasing a photocopy machine for your office.

7. Office supplies

Many office supplies are unnecessary. The fact that other offices have them doesn’t mean you need them too. New businesses probably don’t need highlighter pens, multi-colored papers and seventeen sizes of paper clips. Office supplies don’t cost much, but the cost will accumulate.

This is practically all you need to start a business: pens, pencils, staplers, paper clips and files. Anything more is luxury.

Unless you’re dealing with lots of proposals, binding machine is not needed. And a new business doesn’t have many confidential documents to shred, so put off buying that shredding machine for another five years when your business really needs it.

Use supplies from home. I use only one cheap pen (Faber Castell Ball Pen 1423 0.7mm) for all my writing. It goes with me wherever I go. We do not have a budget for personal stationeries, except work related (staplers, paper clips and files). Staff have to buy their own pens and notebooks.

8. Pantry

You don’t need a rerigerator or a microwave. Eat lunch outside. If you need a pantry, only stock it with basic foodstuff, like 3-in-1 mix and biscuits.

Make it a policy that company will not buy supplies for the pantry, although staff are welcome to bring food and drinks in. Remember, you are not Google.

9. Software

I do not condone piracy. Make sure your Microsoft Office and Adobe softwares are original. If you can’t afford it, use open source softwares.

Do not spend on software you don’t need. Small business don’t need accounting and inventory management software. Existing software might come with 3 functions you need and 997 functions you don’t need. Just do everything by hand so you have a hands-on experience keeping books (Excel is great for accounting).

Manage payroll by hand. If you have a small number of staff, print your payslip manually, and write checks by hand. It is easier to keep track of your finances if every cent going in and out is under your pen. After you employ 50 people, then you can ask the bank to do your payroll.

10. Entertainment

This costs more than the other nine things put together, so please pay attention. Many entrepreneurs, when starting out, are too generous with their money to buy favors. This includes buying meals for potential clients, paying for trips and gifts for Datuks and Tan Sris. There is nothing wrong with buying legal favors, but choose your battle wisely.

Government officers (corrupt ones) are fond of ripping off new business owners while promising you about contracts and “opportunities”.

A rule of thumb: only entertain people who are decision makers (or their proxies). Do not entertain desk jockeys and middle managers. It will be a waste of time and a waste of good cash. These people may promise you millions but they can’t even sign a voucher for RM500. Don’t believe him when he says he will forward your proposal to his boss. 99 out of 100 times, it doesn’t lead to anything. Trust me on this.


*credit to Aidan for this useful article

I want to know what love is..

I gotta take a little time
A little time to think things over
I better read between the lines
In case I need it when Im colder





In my life there's been heartache and pain
I don't know if I can face it again
Cant stop now, Ive traveled so far
To change this lonely life




I wanna know what love is.....
I want you to show me......
I wanna feel what love is.....
I know you can show me......



I'm gonna take a little time
A little time to look around me....
Ive got nowhere left to hide
It looks like love has finally found me....



In my life! there's been heartache and pain
I don't know if I can face it again
I cant stop now, Ive traveled so far
To change this lonely life!.!.!.!.



I wanna know what love is.....
I want you to show me......
I wanna feel what love is......
I know you can show me......

http://www.elyricsworld.com/i_want_to_know_what_love_is_lyrics_mariah_carey.html
I wanna know what love is....
I want you to show me....
And I wanna feel, I want to.... feel what love is....
And I know, I know you can show me....

show me



I wanna know what love is, lets talk about love
I want you to show me, I wanna feel it too
I wanna feel what love is, I want to feel it too
And I know and I know, I know you can show me
Show me love is real, yeah
I wanna know what love is...

Please Don't Leave Me- Pink

Please Don't Leave Me lyrics

Da da da da, da da da da
Da da da, da da
Da da da, da da

I don't know if I can yell any louder
How many time I've kicked you outta here?
Or said something insulting?
Da da da, da da

I can be so mean when I wanna be
I am capable of really anything
I can cut you into pieces
But my heart is broken
Da da da, da da

Please don't leave me
Please don't leave me
I always say how I don't need you
But it's always gonna come right back to this
Please, don't leave me

How did I become so obnoxious?
What is it with you that makes me act like this?
I've never been this nasty
Da da da, da da

Can't you tell that this is all just a contest?
The one that wins will be the one that hits the hardest
But baby I don't mean it
I mean it, I promise
Da da da, da da

Please don't leave me
Oh please don't leave me
I always say how I don't need you
But it's always gonna come right back to this
Please, don't leave me

I forgot to say out loud how beautiful you really are to me
I cannot be without, you're my perfect little punching bag
And I need you, I'm sorry
Da da da, da da

Da da da da, da da da da
Da da da, da da
Please, please don't leave me
(Da da da, da da)

Baby please don't leave me
(Da da da, da da)
No, don't leave me
Please don't leave me no no no

You say I don't need you
But it's always gonna come right back
It's gonna come right back to this
Please, don't leave me

Please don't leave me, oh no no no.
I always say how I don't need you
But it's always gonna come right back to this

Please don't leave me
Baby, please, please don't leave me

Dah lama tak ke kedai..

dah dekat 2 minggu aku x jenguk kedai aku..main tenant sebelah tu gila suruh aku blah secepat mungkin dan nak curi duit deposit aku.die kata aku dah sign tenancy agreement yg tertulis gitu..memang dia dah aniaya aku part tu..sebab setahu aku, normal agreement blh bg notis 2 bln, bila aku bg tapi rupa2 nya dlm agreement tu die dah tukar part tu tanpa pengetahuan aku mengatakan aku mesti stay kt kedai tu ikut term selama 2 thn, baru blh kuar..ye lah, aku ni kan baru belajar berniaga jadi tak perasan ada org nak aniaya aku part tu..bila aku bg notis elok2 die ugut aku mcm2 kt sms..tak guna punya perempuan siol tu..ingatlah perempuan oii..doa org yg terniaya adalah 100x lebih baik dr org yg menganiaya.kali ni ko happy ko dpt duit haram tu, tp ingatlah gembira ko tu x lama, balasan Allah tu pasti ada pd nko atau bisnes nko..bala Allah tu takkan berenti selagi ko x pulang duit aku, ingat tuuuuu....

jadi sejak aku x dtg kedai aku, banyak masa aku habiskan kat luar..berfikir..mungkin keadaan ni terjadi sebab suami aku TAK SETUJU DALAM DIAM aku buka kedai ni..mgkn dia happy kot pasal kes ni.ye lah, die kan rupa2 nya tak redho dgn keputusan aku nak buka kedai ni.aku tau die x redho ni pun secara x sengaja keluar dr mulut die sendiri bila tgh bercakap tanya pendapat die..susah la gini..

aku usaha buka kedai ni pun nak tolong die improve kewangan keluarga sendiri juga.tapi die ntahlah tak pernah nak bg support spt yg aku harap.cara die bg support tu x ikhlas rupanya , dan indirectly mmg nampak as time goes by.tp i choose to ignore feeling that it's just my imagination.

tp just imagine, spjg buka kedai ni TAK PERNAH die nak offer ikhlas buka kedai secara bergilir hujung2 minggu ke mcm suami org lain yg ada business retail.tlg gilir2 jaga kedai hujung minggu blh kurang overhead cost bayar staff sket.asyik2 nak melingkar di rumah atau gi shopping complex.. i just hope die bg semangat pd aku hujung2 minggu , sbb bila die tlg tu semangat aku naik tp ...memang x pernah jadi.bila dah 5-6 bln gitu, aku pon jadi malas nak ke kedai n harap staf je weekend2.RASA TENSION SGT2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SKRG NI, aku fikir biaq pi lah..die tak hirau pon duit aku yg dah aku labur utk kedai tu, jadi aku pon malas nak berat2 kan kepala lg.susah2 sgt aku carik je keje lain, tp kali ni bila aku keje mkn gaji blk ni, mmg aku akan berubah sikap sepenuhnya.sbb aku mmg dah letak 100% usaha n my savings for this kedai n since die buat x hirau sgt jadi aku dh malas nk tlg byk2 utk improve finance. aku akan keje ,simpan duit utk aku n anak2 SAHAJA.dah x ikhlas nak carik duit utk bantu apa2 kalau ada kaitan dgn suami aku lg. CUMA UTK AKU N ANAK2 SAHAJA..!!!!