Tercipta Untukku

Dear diary,
The day that i die, pls forward this song to my hubby...

Menatap indahnya senyuman diwajahmu
Membuat ku terdiam dan terpaku
Mengerti akan hadirnya cinta terindah
Saat kau peluk mesra tubuhku
Banyak kata Yang tak mampu kuungkapkan
Kepada dirimu

Aku ingin engkau slalu
Hadir dan temani aku
Disetiap langkah
Yang meyakiniku
Kau tercipta untukku

Sepanjang hidupku
Aku ingin engkau slalu
Hadir dan temani aku
Disetiap langkah
Yang meyakiniku
Kau tercipta untukku
Meski waktu akan mampu
Memanggil seluruh ragaku
Ku ingin kau tau

Kuslalu milikmu
Yang mencintaimu
Sepanjang hidupku

Aku ingin engkau slalu
Hadir dan temani aku
Disetiap langkah
Yang meyakiniku
Kau tercipta untukku
Meski waktu akan mampu
Memanggil seluruh ragaku
Ku ingin kau tau
Kuslalu milikmu
Yang mencintaimu

Dear diary,
My body becomes quite smelly lately. I've tried all kinds of soap, lulur etc.
I sweat a lot. Been avoiding onions etc but the body odour lingers.
I know my hubby noticed it as he has sharp nose. I'm just lucky he didn't point it out.

supposed to blame myself?

Dear diary,
Till today, things hasn't been so great between me n my hubby. It's quite difficult to talk to a person who has a set mind that i'm difficult to be with..huh! can u understand what i'm trying to say here? well, me too..
we hardly talk like we used to...it's usually silence in the car..kinda like old couple..
when we talk, sooner or later there is always a fight, conflict of interest occurs.
so, i assumed it's best to keep my mouth shut than to talk but end up in a fight.
i hate myself for being in this situation again n again n again n again..if not with him, it will be with others. i know it must be me.it must be my attitude. it must be something wrong in me. i admit it. i tried to change ..little by little. but somehow it's not enough for me to be friendly with people around me.i dunno what else to do. maybe my aura around me is totally cleaned,no more aura around me that people can't stand to be with me for long.
it makes me hate myself ..

Communication starting to break-down

Dear diary,
Lately, my hubby and I don't talk that much to each other.We're both busy with work and Qistina. We barely look at each other's face now . If not for the baby , we don't communicate or discuss other things.
Very very frustrating..i'm afraid that this will turn bad and i don't want it to happen to us. I love him..every minute of the day..
Maybe this is the phase that all married couple goes thru.But it's how they managed this phase
is important. I want to be an approachable person, a loving wife, a good friend to him in particular..I want to change my attitude and I'm willing to sacrifice and change anything just for him..JUST FOR MY HUBBY!!